life without sikhism

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fathe I am Jatinder Pal Singh from Chandigarh, Punjab, India, I am new user of this website, can you imagine that i didn't know about the blogs but now i am so proud on this website where everyone can express and share his views with all over the world and vise verse. This is the story about me when i was just 15 years old, but before i come on point first i would like to pay your kind attention on my childhood. I was born in 1980 in Sikh Family but no one was Amritdhari but my parents and my younger sister all have very much respect for Sikhism. My real father was driver in Government office and he was died in car accident when i was just 7 years old and my younger sister was just five, my mother got the clerical job in same office. She had to face so much struggle for us and she fight with all relatives to protect our rights and assets because most of relatives wanted to occupies our property and they also want to forcibly re marriage of my mother without his liking. The time past, we grew up our self and find out and learn all good lessons. my mother was so busy scheduled because she has to did her service and look after for us and my grandfather. he was deaf and can to hear very much and he also has difficulty to move around. But my mother always listen Gurbani Tapes and other religious Songs and Kirtan in morning and evening, and whenever she got time she did regular Paath. So i have great impact of these situations, i was learn Sewa of elders, and respect for Sikhism. but when Waheguru Change our life style and we purchased new big house in Modern city, my feelings was change due to high society friend, they said me that you look more handsome if you cut your hair and i did it without thinking of Sikhism. When barber was start to cut my hairs i was run away from shop and told to my friends that i do not want to cut my hairs, but they again start giving me false statements and i was agree and cut my hairs. That day was the full of sins for me, later i realize that i had made mistake, whenever i go to Gurudawara's Shaib and listen the history of my religion and esp the blood of all Martyrs those sacrifices their lives instead change of religion. Now Waheguru Ji Bless me and i Again keep my hairs and abandoned all those things and peoples those are hurdles in my way to Sikhism. 17 August 2003 i took Amrit at Anandpur Shaib and enter in to heaven. The life is so changed and i want to share with you. before Amrit i have eat chicken and non veg and i have never realize the life of that chicken and all living things we eat for our hunger but now i can't see injured animal on road and i also cant kill the insects in my house before i killed them because we all kill by spray and chemicals like cockroaches, mosquitoes, flies and dangerous bugs. Now i realize that they are also made by Waheguru and they have equal right on earth like we have. So we should not kill them, Please try other ways to protect your self. Before i was so afraid of death & always think my self that how this world make & who made this and why made this and i always desired for more life on earth but now thinking is change now i understand that all these things and now i do not afraid of death. There are so many things are also changed which i will share with you in future. Please reply your feelings and if you have same experience please share with me. Guru Fathe Ji Dass